But I recognize He's God, and I'm just Ellie. So after weeks of His prompting, weeks of arguing with Him, weeks of prayer, and prayers (and strengthening comments and private email) from you (thank you), I finally found myself being obedient.
I wrote to the person He was telling me to fix things with. I told her why I was writing, that it was due to much prompting from God. I felt so much lighter after doing that.
When she replied, although she was kind, it was in the form of a "no thanks." I pursued it a bit, gently I hope, and got little in return. Of course now I'm wondering what's next.
I'm also wondering why God told me, so clearly in so many ways, to do this. I know he works in mysterious ways, I know His ways aren't my ways. But my first step in the direction of repair seems like it's only going to be allowed to be a first step.
My question of the week is not, "Will you please explain God to me?" But instead, I wonder, has God ever told you to do something and when you have done what He asked, have you felt like I do, "What was that all for?"
16 Shared Thoughts:
All the time. I guess we just have to be patient. Is that as hard for you as it is for me?
Oh man... that's the question, isnt it? Because EVERYTHING has a purpose behind it & we really like to look at the 'good' results & be like "Thank you God" - but when the 'bad' results happen, we're like, "what happened? Somethings not right" - but God works I think even more POWERFULLY through the bad. Checking obedience? Checking faithfulness? There is always something good to be taken otu of the lesson - for sure! :)
Good for you for listening to his tug on reaching out, even if it didnt end with the expectations that you had. I guarantee it, you'll find SOMETHING to take away from the whole experience!
Yep. I find when I'm asking that question, I haven't waited long enough for the true purpose to show. Or I've ignored the actual purpose as its been shown to me.
I believe strongly that everything happens for a reason, and we weather certain things to be rewarded with others. So if I really csn't figure out the purpose, I just take comfort in that I learned from it, and that's enough.
Plenty of times! We just have to trust His reasoning. We may never see the fruit of our efforts, but maybe a seed was planted in her heart. Or maybe the experience was meant to grow YOU. :)
Be patient! The seed was planted and the heart needs to soften. I still would like an answer to July 25, 2007. There has been alot of good that has come from it. I still would like a better answer :) I know that God is in control and we learn from what path he takes us threw. IT"S NOT ALWAYS EASY! Keep listening!
I think you did the right thing. I've been in a similar situation. I didn't get the response I wanted to hear, but at least I know in my heart I did the right thing. It's hard to be patient for sure, but keep trusting HIM for your guidance.
I think sometimes, God tells us to do things, to undertake journeys, to be present with Him on what is seemingly a long path that takes us back to where we started in order for us to remember why we do it. Why we follow Him. Perhaps He had you reach out to this person to instill in you the importance of loving bravely, even when it is not reciprocated. Because God does that constantly, doesn't He? He reaches out and loves people who do not love Him back. And Still-He Loves. And so maybe He wanted to give you a divine lesson in loving. He must have felt you were up to the task. And who knows what kind of a seed you set, and who might come along one day and water that seed in her life. Perhaps, the task asked of you was not just asked of YOU:maybe you are just a participant in the changing of that woman's heart.
One thing is for sure: the story we write for ourselves is never nearly as exciting as the one He writes for us: so I say, it's always better to let Him hold the pen.
Oh yes...time for us is not the same as God's time. Your advance and gentle pursuit might not have worked YET, but maybe it will inspire the person to pay it forward someday, or to respond to you in kind *eventually*. Perhaps years into the future. I am a huge sucker for instant gratification, but God, well, He's got eternity to worry about.
This morning, I was thinking it was time to give up this blog. But then I used it vent, in question form, from the heart. All your comments touched me deeply. How can I give that up?
What beautiful thoughts you expressed. I cannot thank you enough for opening to me.
As for patience, when I was a little girl, we were waiting a long time for food in a restaurant, and my parents told me to be patient. My reply, "I'm patient, I'm patient! But I just can't wait!"
I'm not sure I've changed much.
Thank you friends for deep reminders.
"I'm patient! I'm patient! But I just can't wait." I think God hears that from all of us from time to time.
I wish I had something as beautiful and heartfelt to say as the previous commenters. I'm sure that God is pleased with your obedience. Perhaps He is still working on the heart of the person you reached out to.
Maybe you will be called to love bravely in another direction soon and because of this experience, you'll be able to do that more readily.
Not knowing the details - and I am not asking - is it possible that you needed to reach out for you? Maybe the lesson is that despite your open heart and mind to forgiveness that other's minds and hearts just are not open or ready?
Again speculating here - but maybe it was to help you feel and experience the closure needed to believe the relationship may have ended? And to accept that you had done all you could do?
Just my thoughts/two cents - for what it is worth.
I am going to let Him hold the pen today! (Where does my daughter get this from? I know - Him!)
Melissa,
Unless there is a divorce or death, this is someone (although out of state) who will be connected to my life for a long, long time. She is a member of my husband's family.
I think, for now, I have done all that I can do.
ellie
I know reaching out was hard. I'm proud of you. I'm praying for you to have continued patience & an open heart.
I agree with others, I think God just isn't done yet softening her heart towards forgiveness (not really related to you as much as the situation) that will enable her to open her heart to you in return.
While I'm sorry you didn't get the reconciliation you desired, what you did discover, is that you can wrestle with God and find that He is the molder and shaper. Wrestling is good. It's a worthy process.
It was/is also a lesson in listening, discerning and being obedient. You did an awesome thing. I would encourage you to continue to reach out in non-threatening ways… continue the dialogue, even if it's one sided. Your perseverance, persistence and faithful, consistent pursuit will not go unnoticed.
Maybe not by her {although she'd have to be incredibly hard hearted not to be touched}, but by our Father.
Good for you, Ellie!
oh, and another P
Patience
:)
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