Saturday, December 11, 2010

Teacher gifts?

     This is one of those risky posts.  One, I may seem greedy.  Two, I may seem presumptuous.  Three, I may seem judgmental or demanding.
     You can tell me shame on me after you read it.
     I always got my son's elementary teachers Christmas gifts.  I wanted to.  I liked to.  Even when money was tight, I thought it was important to scrimp elsewhere and spend a bit on them.  They, each and every one of them, were important to my son and his learning.
     (In middle school, Mac selected the teachers he wanted to buy for. We used to give them lottery tickets! I should have done more for all of them.)
     It's been my experience some of my students give me Christmas gifts.  It's been my experience that some of you wonder at what to give your kids' teachers.  Since some of you have asked me for suggestions, I'm giving them. 
     I keep EVERY gift of writing I receive.  That's the best gift.
     My class usually selects a service project to give to and I ask that the kids give to it instead of me.  (Admittedly, when they did this at Mac's elementary school I gave to both, service project and teacher.  I had to.  I couldn't ignore the teachers!)  This year, we hope to bring gifts to the Elder Day Center.
     Here comes the risky stuff...
     When it comes to choosing a gift for your child's teacher, realize your child is one of 20+ kids who may be sharing a present with the teacher.  Avoid trinkety things, even though some can be quite touching to receive. Twenty plus trinkets is a lot of stuff.  Multiply that by 20+ years of teaching, and you've got an episode of Hoarders in the making.
     When I was single, I lived in a tiny condo.  I couldn't keep much.  Right before I moved, I went downstairs and visited a retired teacher who had kept EVERYTHING any student had ever given to her.  Her unit was beyond cluttered--and that was in May, who knows how many teacher ornaments she pulled out in December.  Yep, she bordered on a hoarder.
     One teacher I know once got 17 candles for Christmas.  Seventeen.  When something like that happens, I donate the duplicate gifts to a local thrift store.
     Anything "teachery" or "appley" isn't the best plan.  Being a teacher defines who I am.  Absolutely.  I don't need to decorate with or further adorn myself with my job--I wear my job with my exhausted expression and my colored fingers--dyed by overhead marker on a good math day!
     Lotions or similar can be allergenic.  Avoid.
     Avoid jewelry unless you are familiar with the teacher's style.
     Services, a gift of a manicure or pedicure would be such a welcome indulgence!
     Never give a mug.
     I get mugs even though I drink only diet pop (I wish I could say water) in front of my kids. One year, a mom said, "I almost got you a case of diet Pepsi."  I wanted to say, "And you didn't because?"
    Gift cards are wonderful.  To get a gift card to just about anywhere?  What a treat!
     Class gifts are great. Things for the class.  Ask your child's teacher what she needs.  Some teachers spend a lot of their own money on their classrooms.  Games in my game closet and books on my shelves have been given to me by students and enjoyed by many.
     Class gifts are great.  Collect five dollars or so from each kid and get something from the class.  A gift card to TJ Maxx, Target, a restaurant.  My first year in 5S, my 29 kids collected (with the help of a mom), and I received gift certificates to the teacher store, a bookstore and dinners out.  After Christmas, I brought in much of what I bought, and we had Christmas all over again!
     Two years ago, I had a mom who sent in a personal questionnaire and had me answer all sorts of neat questions about what I did for fun, my favorite colors, and favorite foods.  I felt so cared for!  She wound up giving me a thoughtful gift of payment for one month of Netflix and some movie watching snacks.
     Snacks...just like any holiday, too much food is, well, too much food.  So unless it's something special and homemade, maybe not.  I share mine at my family Christmas celebrations, but I usually wind up throwing some things away because we can't eat them fast enough.  I hate that.
     Pretend you are buying for a male teacher.  Most of the gifts on this list that we get too many of are never given to our male peers. Because they are hard to buy for, they get more practical things.  Sometimes, we women teachers are a little envious...
     Truth, it IS the thought that counts.  I can tell.  My kids love me to open their gifts in front of them. They are excited.  And when it comes down to it, really gets down to it, that's all that really matters!
  

19 comments:

Thriftanista in the City said...

Noted. I will bookmark it. This is useful information. I like to get gifts that the person would enjoy. Every year I request no presents from some people because I know it will be a gift that will just clutter up the place. I think I'll post a xmas list this year.

btw, I tell everyone that Violet wants an iPad. I hope she get one. ;P

RMO said...

Very informative! I like to be practical when purchasing gifts. I agree with "the thought is what counts". However, I always like to personalize the gift so I know the receiver will feel very appreciated. I view my son's teacher as a vital part of his life. All the teachers have been...and future ones will be. So, I like to put a little thought into showing them they are very much appreciated and respected. Hoping you don't get alot of "clutter" this year! :-)

ShirleyC said...

This is a fabulous post. If you have a FB account, you should post your link there.
I'm a retired teacher, and I can relate to everything you said. I got so many things that I just couldn't use. If I got trinkets, I tried to find places to display them in school, at least for a time unless they were ornaments. Got lots of mugs, but I still use some of them today.
I guess the funniest gift I ever got was ONE earring from a little boy. He wore the other one! LOL
The most pitiful gift I ever got was a little cloth doll from a sweet little girl (when I taught 3rd grade), that I knew couldn't afford to buy anything. It was her doll, and you could tell it had been used, but she wanted me to have it. I had to hold back the tears.
Wishing you and your kids a Merry Christmas, and I think the service projects are a great idea. I always encouraged my kids to not buy me things, but some teachers expected nice gifts.

Anonymous said...

I recently worked in a nice department store and was often shocked by what shoppers would say as they bought teacher gifts.

"Nah, no need for a gift receipt,it's just a for a teacher."

Or, "It's under five dollars, I don't really care what it is. She'll have something to open."

I remember thinking exactly what you suggested, they should of put all their money together for one nice gift.

I always spend at least $20 on my kids' teacher gifts--you all work so hard and matter so much.

If folks get upset by this post, it could be because they feel guilty!

the Chacogirl said...

Oh Ellie! This is such a great post today! I never know what to get the teachers, and usually end up getting them something decorative. But you really can't expect them to keep everything they get. My youngest once drew a great picture of the teacher with all of her students and gave it to her when whe was sick. The teacher was so pleased with that gift, she kept it till the end of the year, had it framed and gifted it back to Brianna. She said, Brianna would cherish it much more than she would in a few years.:)

Debra said...

I had a coworker whose sister was a teacher. I could tell by my coworker's conversation that she and her sister weren't close--in fact, I think she was quite jealous of her sister, for whatever reason. Anyway, EVERY YEAR, she gave her sister some teacher-y thing: a little brass school bell, a wooden apple that said, "Teachers are really neat," and junk like that. Then she complained that her sister didn't seem to like her "thoughtful" gifts. I remember thinking to myself, "Are you really that clueless, or is there something a little passive-aggressive in your crummy little presents?" We'll never know! Proud to say I never bought any of the boys' teachers "teacher" stuff!

Anonymous said...

Perfectly stated Ellen! I only taught one year in elementary and then is was with mentally ill kids so very little was given to me...but I saw what others got!

My thought is to give something that can be used up...gift cards...candy...candles...etc...

Great post!

Anonymous said...

You did not overstep. I am grateful to know what teachers really want. My only suggestion or curiosity would be if gifts are expected? In this economy things can be very difficult for some families.

Ellen aka Ellie said...

Gifts are never expected. Never. But I haven't had a Christmas yet when I didn't receive any, even though I encourage them to buy for our service project or others first.

The kids always want me to open the gifts in front of the class. My first years, I didn't because I worried I'd hurt the feelings of a child who didn't bring one.

Turns out, they're so into watching me open, that's joy for them!

Kids! I love them!

Tammy @BeatriceBanks said...

Great post! I agree with everything you said. I wouldn't mind getting 17 candles though b/c I'm a candle freak. Love to burn them around the house and it's an indulgence I don't always spend on myself. Thanks for sharing!

Mac said...

I disagree. Buy snacks. Lots of them.

Carol said...

Whew, wish I had read this before I got all the teachers' gifts! LOL!!! Thanks for your input & THINK I did ok, if not, I'll know better for the "year end" gift! :)

Ellen aka Ellie said...

Only me seemingly banning snacks would warrant Mac to comment on my blog!

dori said...

Great advice for gift giving to Anyone, not just teachers!
you are very wise!!!!

Hey that gives me an idea...
maybe I'll send you an "Owl shaped Mug" because you are wise as an owl..
and I'll fill it with Owl shaped cookies, essence of owl lotion, and an owl figurine with glasses holding an apple...
Ha!!!!

Seriously, you are a beautiful and inspirational woman, as well as a teacher and I hope you are blessed in many big and small ways this Christmas!!!


p.s.
i will not be offended if you re-gift or donate the party favors from Suzie's party. :-)
I love ornaments,as they can hold a meaning, or remembrance, and yet I can pack them away, and bring 'em out just once a year...
but I can imagine how many things like that one might collect in your profession. yikes!
I just donated a bunch to CCC for the Gift marts...they were looking for ornaments and tree decorations this year to raffle off, in addition to toys for the Mart.

Ellen aka Ellie said...

My mom collected owls, so have at it! Actually, I gave one of her owls to one of my former students. She never knew it was from me though!

Laura said...

Ellen, These are practical suggestions and well-worded. Personally, I also like when parents buy items for the classroom- like new white board markers etc. Good post.

Christy said...

This is great! When I taught first grade, I got some of the strangest gifts. One little boy gave me a leopard-print see-through shirt!!! Needless to say, I never wore it to school or anywhere else. Another time I received a very elaborately decorated china doll on a swing. It touched me because I'm sure to the little girl who gave it to me, it was the most beautiful thing in the world. But it didn't exactly fit in with the decor of my apartment.... I also always ended up throwing away tons of chocolate every Christmas and Valentine's Day. And don't even get me started on the Valentine's Day stuffed animals!!! Yikes!!!

ALI said...

What a great post to keep in mind for the future... And sadly, I read this AFTER buying for DS's DCP...

Oh well... I did do the gift receipt so she can always exchange it if she doesn't like it... :)

I did help J make a Christmas card for her though, thanking her for all she does...

Katie said...

I LOVE this post! We are only on daycare right now, but I am so thankful and appreciative of everything that my son's four teachers do. I really wanted to get them something that they would enjoy and you are helping me to do that. I suddenly feel like a gift card is more special and not a copout. So, gift cards and just a little box of homemade cookies each. Thanks!! And Happy Holidays to You and Yours!