I opened this Email at lunch yesterday. It was from my husband. I'm just so blessed to have him and for the relationship he and Mac have. He said it was okay to share it here.
Ellie,
I think we all were trying to be brave for each other this morning as we all left to go our different and separate directions. I don’t believe it was easy on any one of us. We all express trying to be brave differently. You show tears and express the sadness. I try to comfort and express words of advice. Mac tries to pretend he is ready to go and face the world while dragging himself out of the truck and into the airport. All of us have a sense of the goodness of his being here and the change that occurs each time he moves to become independent and launch himself. I think this is the way it is supposed to be. It gives us small glimpses of what it will be like when change becomes more permanent. The child first goes off for an overnight sleep-over and returns. Then of to camps, then college and still returns. He goes off to England and returns. He will go off into life and plans are already made for us to stay connected. It is in the intentional cycle of staying connected that peace resides.
I’m glad both of you are in my life,
Brad
11 comments:
As a mom who is already fearing her son is growing up to quickly, Brad's email to you gave me goosebumps. I totally agree with him, and it gives me peace that when my (soon to be 3 yr old) is ready to spread his wings & fly - I'll be ready.
As the mom of an only son, only child, I never thought I'd be okay with him away from me. But it is growth and it is exciting.
And since we love each other, it is cliche, but we're never really apart.
There's a whole story in that letter. Thanks for sharing, and I think it's spot on for what we go through, how we cope.
the art of raising a child is the art of letting go. from a baby's first steps, we must let go of his hand if he's ever to learn to walk on his own. we're there to cheer on his steps, comfort when he falls and be as exhilerated over the running as the effort exhausts even us as we look on.
we must let go of the bicycle as they learn to ride without training wheels for if we hold on, he can never really go. he must learn how to balance and gain speed and soon he's riding around the corner out of sight, and we need to be okay with that.
it's a constant tug… this desire to mother and their desire to grow. finding the balance between mothering and letting go is the dance we've been doing since birth.
you're balancing beautifully, el.
that is so beautifully written. i will have to read this again when it's time when my kids leave.
My oldest lives in NYC... far from my home (she has started to call NYC home) I cried like a baby when she left...I always will worry!
You should understand why I'm sad about my brother! :)
As a young adult in a similar position as Mac, I can assure you, he was most likely dreading leaving too. I see my family fairly often, but leaving is always tough. There's a comfort in home and family. I'm already dreading the days I go home, and Kyle won't be there, starting his own college journey.
Justin has begun his job hunt. I gave him the go ahead to pursue jobs in other areas, but the thought of being far away from both of our families, just makes me hurt inside. We'll see what happens!
Very reflective letter. I'm right there with you. Someone asked me today how I liked my daughter being away at college. I think I shocked her when I replied, "I like it." Of course, I miss her terribly but I'm so very proud of her accomplishments. It's like asking how you like it when your baby starts walking. We get so excited, even tell everyone about it, yet we are sad he/she is no longer dependent on us. Letting go never ends, no matter how old our children get. But like you said, it's growth.
Happy New Year!
I was told many years ago that our kids are gifts from God placed into our hands for a time to raise, nurture and love and then to send out into the world to do the same thing for the next generation. I have always looked at my kids that way - I did the best job I could, and now it is up to them to carry on and share all of their gifts with the world. That is why it is and was always a priority for me to keep my relationship with my husband one that is strong and true - my kids learned how to love and treat others based on that relationship. I can stand back (and let go) proudly knowing that I did that for them.
I could talk about the mother/child/off into the world thing, but what really got me was the letter! That Brad was thoughtful and insightful enough to send it. That man is a keeper!
This blessed my heart....
Thank you,
Candace
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