For a short while, we attended what I call our interim church, and I went on a mission trip with them.
We've been attending The Compass in Naperville for very close to a year now; we plan on staying there. I'm learning much from Pastor Dale's messages. The music touches me deeply. But I haven't done a thing servant wise. Last August, as a reaction to a push from a pastor I met in Kentucky, I signed up for a small group leadership class (I did lead a women's small group at Community, and then was part of a group.) But I haven't started a small group--though I did make some attempts.
The keep calling for servants, and at times I feel guilty, so I contacted the person in charge of greeting a month ago and volunteered for that, but I haven't done it yet.
So what's wrong with me?
Last week, Donald Miller posted this. He didn't allow comments, which makes sense as I'm sure people would be mad, but it made so much sense to me. It allowed me to feel a little bit okay about shying away from serving, or, at least, for thinking and praying about where I'm best used.
Then, at the concert the other night, Matthew West sang, "The Motions," and I thought, "That's what I'm doing, I'm just volunteering to serve when I haven't heard from God. I'm going through the motions instead of being still and waiting to hear from Him." Definitely feeling the give-in to peer pressure instead of His leading.
4 comments:
I don't think, having walked in similar shoes, that there is anything wrong at all with not serving from time to time. Sometimes we need a break. Sometimes we need someone to feed us. Besides, if you look at your life you'll find you do still serve in many ways...just not "officially." :)
Due to the nature of my position as the 'youth pastor's wife', I've had to learn this lesson pretty fast: to not conform to expectations or the "supposed-to's" because in the end it will drain you, and you won't be able to give your best self to anything.
In situations like this, I am often reminded of Luke 6:43-45 (the chapter about the fruit of one's heart). I know that the context of that verse has to do with keeping one's heart in check since that is the wellspring of one's deeds, but I think for me, something else I glean from that is certainly by volunteering for ministries left and right, God is with you in that, and God is going to bless that, but will YOU be able to give everything you've got when you are stretched so thin into every single ministry? Imagine how much more one can give when it is directed into fewer places that kindle your spirit.
Or...maybe you are being called to stop and listen...there is this great book by Renita Weems called "Showing Mary" that is this really beautiful book about pausing and listening to what God has for you. I don't know if it is still in print, but if you want, I'd be glad to lend you my copy if you're ever interested in reading it.
Ah yes. I do understand. Too often we twist arms to get people to fill certain roles, but they are not well-matched to their gifts or calling.
Thank you for posting this, I needed to hear this today.
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