Anyway.
At church, the greeters shake hands. I did not do this at my old church when greeting. It's what they do. Also, when we turn to greet each other, we shake hands.
I've had a sore finger for a few months; I thought maybe it was broken because it's bent. Pressure causes it to ache more than it does when I'm just using it normally, and handshakes hurt. I went to the doctor on Friday, and the x-ray showed bone rubbing on bone absolutely no cushion of cartilage in-between the joints, which the hand specialist diagnosed as arthritis. (Freaky x-ray, I have to tell you.)
Arthritis. I have thought about this a lot since Friday, but I'm not going to get into my shallow, self-centered thoughts. Just this one...I'm going to work to not shake hands anymore. That just seems wrong to type. Shaking hands will not exacerbate the condition. The doctor says nothing will. (Nothing will alleviate it either, but it's only one finger, so no biggie.) But shaking hands hurts.
My husband has degenerative back disease, take my lil finger ailment and multiply it to the size of his back. He does things all the time that cause him pain. He lives with pain. I'm a wuss times 1,000 compared to him.
Anyway.
So here's my question of the week:
Are you a hand shaker?
Do you expect a hand to be offered?
Do you wonder what's up with people who don't?
Do you think I should just tough it out?
Do you ever wonder why I don't call these posts Questions of the week?
12 comments:
There was a woman visitor at our church who had cancer ( rotect yourself. told us she was in town for treatment), everyone shook her hand but me. I had a cold so I declined because I remembered when I was going through treatment I had to be careful of germs and stuff. Anyway, she looked hurt and I felt bad but I didn't get a chance to explain. For almost a month, I felt guilty. Yes, guilty about not shaking her hand. It took me that long to realize that I was protecting her. You have to protect yourself from pain.
I just saw your reading goal for 2011 and thought it was your goal for 2012. I couldn't believe you'd already read 50 books this year! :)
Dani--
A few weeks ago, when our pastor was sick, he suggested no one shake hands. I don't really understand why shaking hands is a good idea since it's the #1 way to spread germs. You did the right thing by that woman.
Then again, we are encouraged to put ourselves out there, so what's a little pain? Isn't it meant to be worth it if someone feels welcome, especially at church?
Our church has two campuses, and yesterday we went to the one nearer our house (though we like the one that's a distance better). A woman sitting behind me reached out, and I said, "I don't shake hands." Oh, I felt so mean! I didn't want to say, "I have arthritis," because it's just in one finger tip. There are people who are much worse off than that...
I'm not a fan of hand shaking because it just feeds into my germaphobia :) I actually hug - I prefer it anyways. But I'll close my hands into fist when I put them on their back...
with the younger crowd, I like to "knuckle up" - safer. Not to mention, I keep hand sanitizer for as soon as I walk out the doors after greeting so many people.
We definitely shake hands over here although, if I'm being honest, men do it much more. A lot of women hug instead.
In our society, with all the techological things that alienate real people-to-people contact, I think a good old fashioned handshake is important.
i would avoid it if i were you. maybe a little side hug? or a pat on the shoulder? fist bumps feel a bit contrived! :)
I'm not a shaker, but will step up to the plate if it's called for. Like being a greeter at church. Though that said, I've had a couple of people yank their hand back while I was greeting them and tell me they don't shake hands because of pain. No biggie. I'd actually rather hug than shake. At least at church.
We go to a big church and I don't know many people there, so hugging would be weird. We also sit in the very front row so Brad can stay seated the entire service--except for greeting time. So to hug, we'd have to go back a few rows. I try to wave to folks, but when they lean in...I probably should just toughen up!
I'm a hand shaker. It's just me. But for you, you have to do what is comfortable. I also have a strong handshake, so it gives me confidence to shake hands.
It also creeps me out when you have a weak one, but your post gave me pause as I don't know if for some - they have funky handshakes b/c they are in some kind of pain.
That said, I'm suffer from psoriatic arthritis... Is your age or immune system related? If it is immune system, I can suggest all kinds of amazing treatments that truly give you back your life.
If it is age, then I cannot be nearly as helpful. Sorry!
Grew up shaking hands in social settings and at church. Hate the wimpy handshake too! As I've worked with those who have arthritis I allow the other person to set the firmness of the handshake. When I had carpal tunnel in my right hand, I made sure I first and quickly extended the left hand and people realized there was a reason why I did not shake with my right. Seems to my I also recall some etiquette surrounding handshakes - need to read up on that again!
I do shake hands, and I have a comfortably firm one.
I do not like it when guys give me the "girly shake." You know the type… they grab just your fingers and give you this "gentlemanly" shake… as if they could swoop in for a kiss on the back of the hand. Do you know that shake?
I also hate it when women offer that same handshake as if they're Scarlet O'Hara or something. It's annoying.
My husband is a germophobe shaker. He shakes then Purells. Seriously.
As for eschewing shaking? I'm all for it. A simple pleased to meet you will do. If they offer their hand, politely decline due to a sore shaker.
It drives me crazy when women have a bad handshake. I don't need a power shake or something, but for goodness sake, don't be a limp noodle. I feel personally offended when women have bad handshakes, because I feel it sets back the feminist movement by three decades, but I could be (likely, am) exaggerating. :)
Young people tend not to shake hands, so I always feel awkward when I've extended my hand and they seem unprepared/unresponsive. I just chalk it up to my "old-schooledness". I don't think it's weird to not shake hands in the event of pain, though I would argue in favor of selectively handshaking versus eliminating it all together.
I am so not a germaphob, so I don't understand that as a reason not to do handshakes (unless your immuno-compromised). Offending someone, or appearing unwelcoming, worries me more then possibly getting sick from someone.
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