Easy, right? Except for idiomatic speech, what sane person ever expresses the want to kill someone or ever even considers murdering someone? It should have been the shortest church service ever. Instead, the pastor's teaching wove through the Bible--New Testament and Old--to find words to bolster the idea that the killing we do with our speech does more damage than we can ever fathom.
Speech bullies.
Speech defames.
The words shared from James stayed with me most, "All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison." (James 3:7-8.)
Deadly. Killer. Murderous.
Just last week, my "Words for Wednesday" quote, by Audrey Hepburn, made me think more of holding my tongue. I have worked hard to speak kindly of and to people I care for. I have edited posts on this blog, even that one, to seem kinder than I really feel as I compose them. But there are people out there who have hurt me deeply (and no doubt their perception is I have done the same), people who have hurt those closest to me and I have struggled to speak of them with any kindness at all. When I'm with trusted friends, I let lose. I also turn to God about them often, and I pray for them, yet I remain so angry and so hardened toward them.
"With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be." (James 3:9-10.)
Admittedly, I sat there knowing guilt. With this mouth I proclaim to be a Christ Follower. With this mouth, God has used me to teach others about his Love. But with the same mouth, and against His Word, I have spoken deeply unkind words. I have worked hard to justify my unkindness by my hurt feelings. As I heard these verses (and as I looked them up again today), I knew I could work to better keep my tongue still--to tame it on this subject. These people, though flawed, are no more flawed than I. These people are created in God's likeness, so am I. I cannot make them see that in me, but perhaps others with see God in me if I just shut up.
But then close to his closing, the pastor laid one more on us. Thoughts. Count. Too.
If the tape loop that plays in my head was ever broadcast, the ugliness would taint all around me. There are certain people I just do not ever grant the benefit of the doubt. I am not two-faced, if I can't get along with someone I don't act as though there is love, but even removed from such people I continue to harbor venom.
It's wrong, and of course I knew that. But it too is murderous, and in a way, it's killing me.
8 comments:
Oh wow. This is like an arrow piercing my soul. I try so hard to be kind and polite to everyone, like them or not. But I am so guilty of using hateful words, and don't get me started on hateful thoughts. I can keep it all to myself with my family, but like you said, some alone time with my friends or on the phone and the hurtful words pour out.
The worst part, the most shameful part, is that the most hurtful words are usually reserved for people that I do love, but that have hurt me in some way, either real or imagined. I don't bother with people I don't know well, but I can let my family have it in my thoughts and sometimes my words.
Your paster is brilliant; I would have walked out of there with my head hanging and my heart aching for my words and thoughts that kill. I'm not going to be able to stop thinking about this for a long time.
Thank God for His mercy. Thank Him for the opportunity to continually grow and learn; for the ability to to not only know, but do. Thank you for sharing this. May God continually bless you.
I am really blown away - I am going to send this link to several people I know who can really use these words for good use. Thanks for a positive, thoughtful use of words! :)
such a good post, but i think you're a little hard on yourself, girl. i agree with latanya. mercy. how awesome is that?
what a great series at church!
and thanks for making all of us think.
and on a totally non-thought-provoking post, i tagged you so if you're feeling like a little levity, play along! otherwise, skip it. no worries!
Me too.
Me too.
Me too.
And, many times when I am writing- I am focusing on who I WANT to BE. Not WHO I AM in reality.
In progress....all the time.
I enjoy these notes about your "Ten Commandments" series. I find them to be a not-so-kind-but-necessary reminder that no one and no action is without flaw :) Thanks :)
How about we keep each other accountable with this? Let's remind each other if our conversations become to judgemental,gossipy, or snarky.
As for the thoughts, we could put a big rubber band on our wrists and pull it when we think mean thoughts. Sound good?
Brenda
BP--Keep me accountable, sure. Rubber band as an accessory? No way!
:)
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