Verse

     This end of month/beginning of the month need for a verse caught me by surprise.  I must be honest, I'm not doing "this" the way it's supposed to be done. I haven't been quite good enough (meaning if this were a test I'd flunk it) at memorizing verses.  Why I'm sticking with it, even in my watered down way of not committing verses to memory, is it makes me go into the Bible, and it makes me think about God and his love and all the good things he provides for me daily.  So I don't go to the website and crow about my twice a month memory verse, I don't post there any more, 'cause I can't remember a single one.
     Memorizing is hard for me.
     But I know where to find bunches of verses.  And when I forget them, I know how to retrieve them.
     So sitting here, realizing it's month's end, made me think of an old Waltons episode--perhaps even the pilot one--where the older sister whispers Bible verses to her younger siblings so they can earn charity Christmas presents.  I joking thought to myself, "I should use 'Jesus wept.'" 
     Then I realized I should use "Jesus wept."  (NIV, John 11:35).  In context I am only beginning to understand its meaning, but when I sit here thinking about it, I wonder how much he weeps for us now.  Can we hurt him so deeply, our King of Kings, THE King, that we still bring tears to his eyes?
     Something to think about as we draw closer to our mourning over his death and the celebration of his new life--a celebration of resurrection and freedom from our sins.  I know he forgives us, but in our moments of darkness, does he cry?  Does he cry for us?  With us?

image found here

Nada

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love.  

Neither death nor life, neither angels or demons, 

neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow--

not even the power of hell can separate us from God's love.

Romans 8:38 NLT

Something I need to work on...

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Ephesians 4:32 NIV


I think I'm doing this sort of backwards.  Wait, I know I am.  As part of this on-line challenge, I'm meant to memorize the verse in preparation for the half-month points, but I do it the other way.  I memorize them after I put them out there, after I state them here.
This one's been in the back of my mind, but I'd be lying if I said I have it down--verbatim or in practice.  Last night I allowed myself to get really angry about something (more on that tomorrow), so I think I'm going to post this a day early and then I'm going to WORK at remembering it (doable) and living it. (Impossible?  Not with God.)

This one is simple...

  Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Matthew 11:28, NIV

Good for the Soul?

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)

     I've joined a "team", a team of thousands that encourages me to memorize two Bible verses each month.  I figure this is a good thing. You see, I'm not Bible smart.  I'm not learned (pronounce with two syllables please) about God stuff.  There are many people I know in person and on-line who are so much smarter than I am about the history of the Bible and all He has to teach us.
     At times that intimidates me.
     If you know me at all, that's one confession you most likely previously figured out.
     Here are some others:
     I'm practically estranged from my family.  My parents have both died, and since then I have lost contact or contact has been purposefully severed with all my aunts, uncles and cousins.  Sometimes I deeply grieve these losses.  My siblings are good people but we are not tight.  We see each other at Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I wish this was different. I often miss them, and I always love them. Life gets in the way of time together.
     Brad's family chooses to not fit me into their lives, and I have struggled with this a bit.  I can understand it, but it still hasn't always been pretty.  It has settled into a deep calm, and I value that.  A bigger confession?  I'm not an innocent party in this situation.
     My circle of real friends is quite small, and most of them aren't friends with each other, so they're more like my satellites than they are people who truly encircle me.  They're my dot-to-dot, connected to each other only by me in my heart.
     I am incredibly lazy, and I usually think of myself and my own needs for much longer than a moment before I consider anyone else. 
     Sometimes I'm too hard on my students, and I wonder if that will hurt them--even though I believe they know they are loved.  
     Mac and Brad are my family, and I am blessed to be a mom and a wife to two such good men.  That feels good to confess.  When the three of us are together, there is a wholeness.
     Another true confession, one I wish my behavior and words didn't so often belie:  I am a Christ Follower.  Jesus is my Truth leader--and following Him means I cannot rest in that belief though He does afford me rest.  It's often hard for me to be me for most of the reasons mentioned above, I want to live on because He lives in me.  Of course, I cannot quote chapter and verse where the Bible tells me that, but I know it and I feel it.  I pray to live it.
     So Ellie is a new thing, but it is a constant battle, if not an impossibility, to lose myself.  If it happens, it is so brief and Godly I could never express it here--there are no words for that kind of thing. 
     Almost six years ago, I became the new creation the verse above, memorized for February 1, celebrates.  Just like my name can jump out of a jumble of text on a page, this verse jumped out at me when I first came across it.  I used to believe Christians thought of themselves as without flaws, but like many of my brothers and sisters I see my flaws and wrestle with them daily.  I am not good in so many ways, the one way that saves me is looking to Him, moving with Him, while always hoping to allow the Him within me to show.  This life is not static, this new thing is not finished.

Whatever!

"Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things."

Philippians 4:8  NIV

I didn't think I could do this, I'm more of a paraphrasing gal, but I did.  I memorized my first verse for the challenge here.  
I'll be linking up there tomorrow morning, along with literally thousands of other women who have chosen this way to dig into the Bible a little more this year.  The challenge is to memorize, and then post a comment on their blog, a verse for the 1st and the 15th of each month.
There are a few on my to do next list, time to chose. 
Glad to know, with His help, some brain cells are still wildly functioning.
And here's the thing, these past days, while memorizing this, I have had some ugly times.  But keeping these words literally in mind has caused me to let things go I would normally hold onto.
Love that.
Love the Lord!

Words...

     On January 3, on a trip through blog land, where I am leaving more comments (a resolution held now for four days), I came across this blog post.  It's a Christian women's blog, and they sponsor/host a challenge encouraging us to memorize two scripture verses a month, one for the 1st and the second for the 15th.  I didn't want to rush into it and do something retroactive, so I decided I'll link up on the 15th.
     My first inclination is to tell you right now what verse I've selected, but I think I'm supposed to wait for the 15th.  So instead, I'll just tell you it's from Philippians, and I'm going to research some different translations to find the one I like best.  And the blog authors encourage this, and want the translation included.  Which I love.
     May I also tell you I'm "five dimes," and having never been good at memorizing, I'm much worse now.  So this is a challenge for me...but I so want to be up for it!  Want to join me?  Is this something you already do?
Are you any good at memorizing (anything)?

(The Quest Study Bible is one of my favorites, I have a nice new one and an old noted-up one.  I like any Bible with notes and often cross reference to help me "get it."  This month's verse I get, but still want to dig a little deeper...)